Saturday 14 October 2017

Why start blogging?

Thinking about why I started this account up in 2010 and never did anything with it... everyone had/has a blog, why do I need one? I think it was probably the thing everyone did at uni and I didn't want to be like everyone else, I thought too much back then, considered far too much and didn't live in the moment. If I tried to be like everyone else but then failed, that would be far worse than being myself, I could do me, I just didn't trust anyone enough to see the real me. Too many nasty people around my GCSE years... It's so strange to think I used to worry so much it's like it's all just fading away from me now (finally!)... lifting me out of its evil grasp of that sick in your stomach, or heart beating too fast - suddenly stuck in your throat feeling... I can very slightly almost make my face start to go cold & pale at the thought of it - a panic attack for no reason, deciding I am hideous & I cannot leave the house - that's all going away now, I'm learning to LOVE me, and quite a lot too! It's an amazing feeling and it is still a daily battle with my anxiety, worrying about things that could go wrong so often, but I'm stronger than it now and have the power to be in control of it.
Which is probably why I've finally decided to do the blog thing. I'm confident as me. I thought I was sure before, but didn't want to jinx it. Now I don't even believe in jinxing something 😉
P.S i will get into some less intense causal blog stuff soon 💜🌌

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